So has anyone else been watching Rome on BBC? I know it's fantastically silly but I'm loving every moment to the point where I actually video episodes I might not be home to see. If you have been watching can I recommend Tom Holland's Rubicon to fill in the historical detail.

You didn't mess with the Romans. If you did mess with the Romans they would kill you. And your mum. And the dogs. And the sheep. And they'd burn your house down. And then they'd kill all your friends. It seems success has always been closely related to ruthlessness.

This is unfortunate knowledge if you are starting a business from scratch and have the competitive instincts of a sloth.

Nonetheless I asked myself as we opened the door for the first time - What would the Romans do now? The answer was, of course, destroy the competition, enslave them and exploit the survivors mercilessly. With this end in mind I concocted a dastardly plan of such outrageous courage I felt sure it would work. As Caesar once said (according to the TV) "It's only Hubris if I fail".

This was the plan. Challange Scott Pack (Waterstone's head buyer) to an ACTUAL fight! Fists at dawn at the location of his choice. The media would be invited to watch as David (me) took on Goliath (Scott) I had images of the fight in 12th night where Viola (desguised as a man called Cesario) reluctantly squares up to the knight Sir Andrew. Both have been told that the other is deadly and, being cowards themselves, do all they can to escape the conflict. But I was never less than certain of victory.

Luckily I am surrounded by friends and family and a wife whose feet are planted (no pun intended) firmly on the ground. I saw sense and issued no challange as I realise things are not so simple now. I could challange Scott to a fight. Then I would go to jail. I could attack Foyles (our closest real competition) with a legion of brutalised Italians. Then I would go to jail.

Instead I have decided on a further course of action. We will let Waterstones alone. And Foyles. They can carry on doing their thing. And we will do our thing. We will fight a "soft" war. We will beat them at customer service. We will order books faster. We will have better events. We will survive on our own wits and cunning. The end result will be similar - minus all the gore.

Crockatt & Powell take over Europe, North Africa and most of Asia - you have been warned...