Thanks Matthew. Thank you so much. Still, if I must...

OK, so picture it. Picture me. It's our first ever author event in our brand new bookshop. To my left, the very talented Peter Hobbs, who I'll admit to having a little writer crush on. In front of me, the very beautiful girlfriend of Peter Hobbs, and a further couple of dozen avid book fans, awaiting with huge excitement the moment when he will start to read. At the back of the room, one of my bosses. In the next room, ears peeled, my other boss. I have been wired for sound and my every word is being recorded in order to podcast it around the world to anyone at all with access to the internet. I have never introduced an event like this before, but it shouldn't be too tricky. All I have to do is welcome Pete Hobbs, the Whitbread-shortlisted author.

"Thanks very much for coming. I'd like to welcome our special guest, Pete Hobbs, the short-breasted..."

I will never live it down. Never, ever, ever, ever, ever.

And yes. You will be able to download my full humiliation soon from www.crockattpowell.com . Oh *joy*.